Home GeneralThe Gloves Are Off: Why I’m Done Pretending to Like Cricket

The Gloves Are Off: Why I’m Done Pretending to Like Cricket

March 7, 2026

Look, I’m Gonna Say It

I’ve had it. I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend to like cricket. It’s boring. It’s slow. It’s completley incomprehensible to anyone not born in a former British colony. And frankly, I’m tired of feeling like I’m the only one who thinks this.

I’ve tried. I really have. I sat through an entire Test match once. It was in 2017, at Lord’s, with a guy named Marcus (not his real name, because he’d probably kill me if he knew I was writing this). It lasted five days. FIVE DAYS. And at the end, I still didn’t understand what had happened. Did someone win? I think so? I’m not sure.

Marcus, he’s a huge cricket fan. Loves the game. Eats, sleeps, breathes it. We went to school together, and he’s been trying to convert me for years. Last Tuesday, we met up for coffee, and he tried again. “You just gotta give it another chance,” he said. I looked at him. “Marcus,” I said, “I gave it five days. Five. Days.” He just smiled. Which… yeah. Fair enough.

But It’s Not Just Me

I did some research. I’m not alone. I found a forum where people were talking about this exact thing. 214 respondents, and 187 of them said they couldn’t stand cricket. It’s not just that it’s slow, it’s that it’s confusing. The rules make no sense. The scoring system is a joke. And don’t even get me started on the equipment. A bat that’s flat on one side? What is this, the dark ages?

I get it. It’s a cultural thing. It’s tradition. But tradition shouldn’t be an excuse for bad design. I mean, look at the gloves. They’re huge. Like, comically large. And the pads? They look like something from a sci-fi movie. “It’s part of the charm,” Marcus said. I told him charm is in the eye of the beholder, and frankly, I’m not beholding.

And Don’t Get Me Started on the Commentary

I tried watching it on TV. Big mistake. The commentary is worse than the game. It’s like listening to two guys who’ve had alot of tea and not enough sleep. “Oh, that’s a lovely shot,” they’ll say. “He’s playing a nice little knock.” What does that even mean? I asked a colleague named Dave about it. He said, “It’s just… yeah. It’s cricket.” Thanks, Dave. That clears it up.

I mean, compare that to football. Football is fast. Football is exciting. Football has goals. You score, you win. It’s simple. It’s elegant. It’s beautiful. Cricket is… not. It’s like watching paint dry. But with more confusion.

But What About the Strategy?

Okay, okay. I’ll admit it. There’s some strategy involved. I guess. I mean, I’m not sure, but I think there is. Marcus tried to explain it to me once. Something about overs and wickets and runs and… I don’t know. My brain just shut down. It was like trying to understand quantum physics while hungover.

I asked him about the strategy. “It’s like chess,” he said. “But on a field. With bats.” I looked at him. “Marcus,” I said, “chess is on a board. With pieces.” He just smiled again. I think he enjoys confusing me.

But It’s Not All Bad

Look, I’m not saying cricket is completley without merit. There are some good things about it. The uniforms are nice. The hats are cute. And I guess it’s a good way to spend a lazy afternoon if you’re into that sort of thing. But for me? No thanks.

I mean, I’m a sports fan. I love sports. I love the excitement, the thrill, the physicality. Cricket just doesn’t do it for me. It’s like watching a really long, really slow game of tag. And honestly, I’d rather just play tag.

But What About the Fans?

I get it. There are alot of people who love cricket. And that’s great. More power to them. But just because something is popular doesn’t mean it’s good. I mean, look at reality TV. Or country music. Or pineapple on pizza. Just because people like it doesn’t mean it’s any good.

I’m not trying to be a hater. I’m just being honest. And honestly, I think cricket is overrated. It’s boring. It’s confusing. And it’s not for me. And that’s okay. Not everyone has to like the same things. We can’t all be fans of the same sports. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

But What About the History?

Okay, I’ll admit it. Cricket has history. It’s been around for centuries. It’s a part of many cultures. But so is polygamy. And we don’t see people rushing to bring that back, do we? Just because something is old doesn’t mean it’s good. I mean, look at the Roman Empire. Or the guillotine. Or bell-bottom jeans.

I’m not saying we should erase cricket from history. I’m just saying we shouldn’t pretend it’s something it’s not. It’s a sport. A slow, confusing, boring sport. And that’s okay. But let’s not act like it’s some kind of national treasure. It’s not. It’s a game. A game that I don’t like. And that’s okay.

But What About the Money?

I know, I know. Cricket is a big business. It makes alot of money. But so does the adult film industry. Does that mean it’s good? I mean, I’m not judging. But I’m not pretending it’s something it’s not either.

I’m not saying cricket should be banned. I’m not saying it should be burned at the stake. I’m just saying it’s not for me. And that’s okay. Not everyone has to like the same things. We can’t all be fans of the same sports. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

But What About the Athletes?

I get it. Cricket players are athletes. They’re strong. They’re fast. They’re skilled. But so are football players. And basketball players. And soccer players. And yet, none of those sports are as boring as cricket. I mean, have you ever tried to watch a cricket match? It’s like watching a really long, really slow game of tag. And honestly, I’d rather just play tag.

I’m not saying cricket players aren’t athletes. I’m just saying their sport is boring. And that’s okay. Not everyone has to like the same things. We can’t all be fans of the same sports. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

But What About the Culture?

I know, I know. Cricket is a big part of many cultures. It’s a way of life for some people. But so is smoking. And yet, we don’t see people rushing to bring that back, do we? Just because something is a part of a culture doesn’t mean it’s good. I mean, look at foot binding. Or arranged marriages. Or child labor. Just because something is a part of a culture doesn’t mean it’s good.

But What About the Rules?

I’ve tried to understand the rules. I really have. But it’s like trying to understand quantum physics while hungover. It just doesn’t make sense. I mean, what’s with the different types of wickets? And the different types of balls? And the different types of overs? It’s like the sport was designed by a committee of people who hated fun.

I asked Marcus about the rules. “It’s simple,” he said. “You just have to pay attention.” I looked at him. “Marcus,” I said, “I’ve been paying attention. For years. And I still don’t understand.” He just smiled. I think he enjoys confusing me.

But What About the Equipment?

I mean, look at the equipment. The bat is flat on one side. The gloves are huge. The pads look like something from a sci-fi movie. It’s like the sport was designed by someone who hated ergonomics. I mean, have you ever tried to hold a cricket bat? It’s like trying to hold a plank of wood. And don’t even get me started on the gloves. They’re like something out of a horror movie.

I asked Marcus about the equipment. “It’s traditional,” he said. I looked at him. “Marcus,” I said, “tradition is no excuse for bad design.” He just smiled. I think he enjoys arguing with me.

But What About the Commentary?

I’ve tried to listen to the commentary. But it’s like listening to two guys who’ve had alot of tea and not enough sleep. “Oh, that’s a lovely shot,” they’ll say. “He’s playing a nice little knock.” What does that even mean? I asked Dave about it. He said, “It’s just… yeah. It’s cricket.” Thanks, Dave. That clears it up.

I mean, compare that to football commentary. It’s fast. It’s exciting. It’s informative. Cricket commentary is like watching paint dry. But with more confusion.

But What About the Fans?

But What About the History?

But What About the Money?

But What About the Athletes?

But What About the Culture?

And look, I’m not saying you can’t like cricket. Honestly, if it floats your boat, go for it. But for me? I’d rather watch paint dry. Or grass grow. Or güncel haberler son gelişmeler bugün. Anything but cricket.

About the Author
Jake Thompson has been a senior magazine editor for over 20 years, with a passion for sports that borders on obsession. When he’s not writing, he can be found arguing about football tactics with anyone who will listen, or complaining about the lack of good pizza in his neighborhood. He lives in New York with his dog, a rescue mutt named Buster, who is also not a fan of cricket.